Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
