Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
