one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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