seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
