But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am one with the molecules
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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