I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just google imaged poop.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
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the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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