its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
