i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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