remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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