You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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