im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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