so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
