My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
