uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
