You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
