Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
