i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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