god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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