You're completely useless in the revolution.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
