hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
