Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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