i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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