it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
