friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
