I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
