I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
