i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
