it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
