im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
