it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Boobs speak an international language.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize