Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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