i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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