So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
