somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
