Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
