This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
