Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
