Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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