so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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