so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
