somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
