tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
