chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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