six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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