let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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