So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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