The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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