Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large. http://tfl.nu/nhrn
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  No - puma.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar? (773): No - puma. http://tfl.nu/r06a
  Replies (8) Good night (1811) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (832) Bad night (2421)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday... (1-702): ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha http://tfl.nu/3d74
  Replies (19) Good night (2803) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that http://tfl.nu/jdka
  Replies (6) Good night (5665) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights. http://tfl.nu/0a84
  Replies (29) Good night (5060) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed. http://tfl.nu/a1x5
  Replies (24) Good night (7275) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts. http://tfl.nu/8v61
  Replies (16) Good night (966) Bad night (6382)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1899) Bad night (5046)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks http://tfl.nu/8rbl
  Replies (20) Good night (2186) Bad night (3767)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2656) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down http://tfl.nu/70sk
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get. http://tfl.nu/dc03
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while. http://tfl.nu/3e5e
  Replies (2) Good night (344) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships http://tfl.nu/ifce
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (213)

Randomize