my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
