Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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