Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

therell be strippers and coke right?

(703): View more from Virginia

no strippers. just coke.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

i hate this fuckin recession

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(202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession http://tfl.nu/1tv9

Replies (22) Good night (10872) Bad night (2687)
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(216): View more from Ohio

my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

(1-216): View more from Ohio

i'd get off the bar first.

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(216): my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing? (1-216): i'd get off the bar first. http://tfl.nu/xsi2

Replies (18) Good night (701) Bad night (2866)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".

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(402): I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis". http://tfl.nu/dn08

Replies (17) Good night (723) Bad night (6527)
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(773): View more from Illinois

our cab driver is having phone sex.

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(773): our cab driver is having phone sex. http://tfl.nu/18ax

Replies (18) Good night (5457) Bad night (2282)
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(317): View more from Indiana

she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

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(317): she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" http://tfl.nu/88gh

Replies (46) Good night (4056) Bad night (1143)
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(269): View more from Michigan

So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

(1-269): View more from Michigan

Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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(269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472

Replies (63) Good night (15173) Bad night (961)
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(951): View more from California

I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal

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(951): I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal http://tfl.nu/pmv6

Replies (23) Good night (10355) Bad night (1056)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

(973): View more from New Jersey

it happened again.

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(973): remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels? (973): it happened again. http://tfl.nu/jmjg

Replies (8) Good night (6129) Bad night (878)
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(989): View more from Michigan

you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin

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(989): you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin http://tfl.nu/ftsd

Replies (3) Good night (3054) Bad night (1102)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..

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(704): She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number.. http://tfl.nu/ftuv

Replies (15) Good night (4165) Bad night (1173)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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(573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie

Replies (7) Good night (697) Bad night (1198)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...

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(814): I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too... http://tfl.nu/zmym

Replies (5) Good night (633) Bad night (1197)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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(785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo

Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (552)
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(613): View more from Ontario

All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

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(613): All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real. http://tfl.nu/5379

Replies (10) Good night (2363) Bad night (399)
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(406): View more from Montana

That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!

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(406): That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face! http://tfl.nu/7j4j

Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (460)

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