So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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