I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
