so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
