After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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