Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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