So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
