Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm passing your future prison.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner