Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
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we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight