what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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