Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.