We won't sleep together?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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