I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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