I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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