i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this will be a night to untag.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
